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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30107571">Caring is sharing, right?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aesthetic_Kitty/pseuds/Aesthetic_Kitty'>Aesthetic_Kitty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eating Disorders, Help, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Vomiting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:56:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>705</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30107571</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aesthetic_Kitty/pseuds/Aesthetic_Kitty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa has an eating disorder without knowing it.<br/>This plays during their recruit time because I miss the good old days. It will still hurt.<br/>More characters to come, I don't know if anyone will even read it lol</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Caring is sharing, right?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>English isn't my first language, so sorry if I make any spelling mistakes.<br/>Also it's not beta-read because I was lazy and who else would I show this to....<br/>I wrote this to cope and not really for someone to read it. But maybe someone might like to read it too.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mikasa was a caring girl. </p><p>A lot of people thought she was eerie, chasing after her friends and giving her everything to protect them. But she wasn't as strong as everyone thought she was.</p><p>Mikasa had a rather troubling childhood, her parents being killed when she was at the tender age of six. The Jäger family had adopted her and she grew close to her adoptive brother Eren. They soon befriended Armin Arlert, a fragile and shy boy that followed them like a puppy. Mikasa loved both of them dearly.</p><p>She loved them so much that she often gave them her food, wanting to show her affection through actions. She started with sharing half of her portions with Erem who seemed to always have an appetite for two and handed Armin her bread that Carla had put into the pockets of her dress, seeing how hungry he looked.</p><p>Armin didn't have much to eat, which made Mikasa worried and she often gave him all of her food, feeling bad for him. She didn't mind feeling a little hungry sometimes when it meant that her friends had filled tummies.</p><p>When they were 15, all three of them went to the military. Mikasa cut her hair, Eren became obsessed with the idea of killing titans and Armin just wanted to be with them.</p><p>They now ate all together in a wooden hut, being served cooked vegetables, soup and bread most of the time. After a hard day of training every soldier ate as much and as fast as they could, being scared that someone might steal their well deserved meal.</p><p>Mikasa didn't. She ate slow, watching her friends eat and starting to like the feeling of her stomach grumbling and seeing it has a sort of disciplining herself. There would probably come a hard winter and it might be useful to get used to starving a little.</p><p>She soon started to skip breakfast, liking the way her body looked right after waking up.</p><p>Even though she didn't care much about her appearance, she wanted to feel feminine from time to time. Mikasa wanted to be as tiny and fragile as Christa, as lean as Sasha, even though she ate so much, Mikasa wanted to have sharp facial features like Ymir and the slim wrists of Annie.</p><p>She soon realized that hard training and restricting herself from eating did wonders for her body.</p><p>Her waist got slimmer and her face looked more delicate.<br/>She smiled at herself in the dirty mirror from time to time.<br/>Soon she enjoyed the hunger, feeling light and sharing her meals happily with her friends until soon she gave all of it away.<br/>Armin was the first to pick up on it.</p><p>He didn't accept food from her anymore and shot her concerned looks when she offered her bowl to Sasha who gladly accepted it.</p><p>But Armin was just 15 too, he didn't understand a lot about girls, this being the only subject that he wasn't perfect in. He shoved it to the side, thinking of it as a girl-thing.</p><p>Another girl thing that Mikasa concerned was that she didn't get her period anymore. She didn't question it further though, having heard Ymir talking about it to Christa, telling her how she didn't get it either sometimes.</p><p>Mikasa quickly became thinner, became addicted to the dizzy feeling in her head after a hard day of training and nothing more than a few grams of food in her system.<br/>
She also quickly figured that she felt worse after eating than starving herself so she made up excuses to leave her comrades after dinner to go to the nearest little forest to train alone and in peace.</p><p>In reality she kneeled between tree stumps and moss, gagging on two fingers, spitting out her food until only bile and foam came out of her cramping stomach.<br/>
She didn't grasp the concept of disordered eating and didn't feel emotionally bad.</p><p>She wasn't sad, wasn't upset or mad.<br/>
She just became addicted to the hunger, feeling nothing but bliss from her dizzy mind and the tingling feeling in her whole body.</p><p>She didn't think that someome would notice or even criticize her for it.<br/>
But one person did.</p>
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